Hello Mr. Chen, I have a question is our child well.
- It’s our adolescent kids who are especially prone to rebellion.
- I see that you always want to cry when you talk, right?
- This is not the child’s problem, this is the problem of your anxiety nowhere to put.
- Let him know more about your experiences growing up.
How should I communicate with my adolescent child
It’s our adolescent kids who are especially prone to rebellion.
When he reaches puberty, he says, “How young are you, you’re 12 years old, because you’re going to be in middle school soon? Then I think this kind of parent-child relationship sometimes communicate with him, he always said you do not understand, and do not bother to talk to me about this kind of problem.
So I think sometimes communicate with him up I am also quite anxious, on the face of the future to the middle school exam ah, we have to give him a good goal ah is. Have you chosen a good university for him?
Not yet, I want to hear what the little girl has to say. Can hurry up and give him the microphone ah. What is your name? Zhao Shihang Zhao Shihang, hmm. Those three words go pin photo, and then try yes, that’s Hangzhou Hang Shihang.
Good name. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother. Well just think he’s very mean and aggressive right? When he talks to you either with me this attitude or some times feel. There’s a lot of art, and then he’ll be.
Is anxious then anxious and then just start shouting, right. He does not know in what matter, why do you often say he does not know? Don’t know know? So do you think mommy loves you? Love love or love it, right? Do you love him?
Also love him, then why can’t two people who love each other get along well? He does not understand my world, you understand, then you understand his world? You don’t understand his world either, do you?
Can two people who don’t understand each other’s worlds get along well? No, of course they can. Two people who don’t understand each other’s world can at least maintain respect. The actual fact is that you’ll be able to get a good deal on your own, at the very least, not to quarrel, right?
I see that you always want to cry when you talk, right?
It’s not that I want to cry, my eyes itch a little. I was talking to Professor Deng Xiaomeng yesterday, who is a famous Chinese philosopher. He is seventy-seven and seventy-one years old. He started reading philosophy books more than 50 years ago.
He graduated from junior high school and went to the countryside to the countryside. Then he found a book, a philosophy book by Lenin, and started to read from there.
Later, he slowly grew up to become a philosopher, and is a first-class Chinese philosopher, he explored the whole law of the development of life, he said, the biggest reward is. No one cares, you can read whatever you want to read.
Like philosophy to read philosophy, philosophy has what use do not know what philosophy has what use is fun and then gambling all the way to the black pole, and then the only born philosopher. But we reflect on the current education it, like the mold that makes the popsicle.
It is the lattice one by one lattice put in ah a pouring and then out are almost line ah, on the delivery demolition. The growth of every child in this world is a very complex process, not a simple process. If we want to simply correspond, say, language, mathematics, English, jump rope can not be bad, then finally he becomes a mediocre person.
This is not the child’s problem, this is the problem of your anxiety nowhere to put.
We have spoken about this topic in many books. The most important thing for you to say is that your survival instinct is killing you. Your primitive trust, the feeling of being a primitive mother, I want to protect my daughter, I want my daughter not to lose at the starting line.
The key is that primitive people simply do not judge right and wrong. The only way primitive people judge right and wrong is what others are doing.
As long as the primitive man runs he will follow, he does not know whether to run, maybe not to run is right, so if we are just a primitive man. We just look at others are fighting for the school district, I have to fight, others are fighting for the world’s key, I have to fight, right?
But in reality, there are probably more different ways for your child to grow up. And in other words, you don’t care if he messes up the exams easier. Buddhism is not Buddhism this is not Buddhism, this is. You really understand, you have to really do Buddha that realm is still great, I just need you to understand.
Understand what it is, is that your efforts will only make things worse. Well, so children to the age of 11 or 12 years old, parents can do little to protect his safety, it is very important to communicate with him emotionally.
Let him know more about your experiences growing up.
What did you do when you faced difficulties in the past? Have you ever made mistakes? Have you ever taken a wrong turn? You tell him these cases. This is the time when the child will know more about you, will build up a deeper feeling, we can only have the patience to wait until the child finds his mission in life.
In fact, don’t worry, they also want to go to the main school. Do you think he doesn’t want to go to the main school? He actually wants to go to the main school, and it looks good to go to the main school, because children are also a little beast.
Because all my classmates are going to the top of the class, so I’m going to go too, right? Then you let him work hard? You think you can arrange your own time to study well. The first thing that you need to do is to go to the next level, and if you don’t, it’s over.
In your bang you calm down when you come up, you have to learn to nod first. Nod, nod to be able to make your emotional level down.
Ah, and then wait for your emotions to return to normal before talking to your child, and then always remind yourself that patience is important.
The child has to live his or her own life. You are the gardener, you let your child grow up and become what he wants to be, of course you can, the gardener can influence the flower.
You can give him the right values. Let him see the better world, the child’s eyes are open, the child’s values are right, and that’s when the child doesn’t waste his life. Okay? Okay thank you thank you Mr. Fan. Read books to light up life.