A single mother, I have a problem is that, for example, when the child is 5 years old, I want him to be able to develop an independent thinking.
- A very brave character, but many times the child is in.
- You want me to come home and my son suddenly takes colored pens and draws a lot on the wall.
- Then this time the child’s state in front of you to show is cute.
How to build your child’s self-confidence
A very brave character, but many times the child is in.
I encourage him in all things, he will say to me, Mom I do not know. I said mommy teach you ah. He said, “Mom, you teach me, but I will not, I would like to understand his heart’s appeal or that he is and what kind of psychological activities caused him this way?
He was frightened, he was frightened before, his self-confidence has been hit so he will actively tell you that he can not. Well, then it is this kind of, a short time, this kind of encouragement, may not be effective. All a child needs is encouragement and performance.
The child needs to be thankful, thankful for the fact that when you use a condescending attitude to encourage and praise, the other party is actually uncomfortable. You say, for example, I’ll start by praising you, everyone thank you.
None of you spit on the floor today. What is there to praise about that? Isn’t that something that should be done? Why do you praise a thing that you should do? In fact, children are not children, do not need to praise him for those things that are normal.
He did that is normal, when he showed the normal thing to do the right thing, we stand out to praise him, just like we praise everyone did not spit randomly is the same. So, the only thing you have to express at this point is, just be thankful. Thank you.
Thank you for being so quiet on the bus today, right? Let’s make mom feel like there’s a break. So if you can give him thanks, he can feel his value. Only when he feels his worth can he find his confidence.
You want me to come home and my son suddenly takes colored pens and draws a lot on the wall.
He also wrote a lot of slogans and drew all his newly learned math formulas on the wall, the whole wall was a mess. What was my reaction? I think it’s funny. I said hurry up and take pictures and send a friend circle, how fun is fun, right?
It is the same child mischief, parents will have a completely different reaction depends on what? It depends on your state of stress. When you are stressed, you will feel so annoyed.
When you are moderately stressed or low stressed, you feel wonderful. It’s not really about that at all, it’s about your own stress level. You may be a little stressed. That’s why you think all those things make you anxious, make you angry, how you are so unconscious, but in fact he is just showing cute in front of you ah.
He wants to get your attention. He wants to say, “Mom, look what I’ve learned. But mom always said at that time, you little come, you honest, you do not move, so his mother all is not going to, I can not learn, because what I do mom feel bad ah. Right?
This is from a very important book that we talked about, called Feel, Love. When we talk about feeling love, we always think that we want the other person to learn to feel love, we want our children to learn to feel love, but it’s not that we have to learn to feel love ourselves first.
To be able to learn to adjust to their own stress situation, even if the mother is worried about working again, to bring up a child, I can still feel that. Relaxed, happy state.
Then this time the child’s state in front of you to show is cute.
Interesting, fun, attract my attention, right? Then you can express your gratitude to him from the bottom of your heart, and express your recognition to him.
Then show him admiration, this child’s self-confidence slowly returned. So this is how the cycle is bought, starting with this hard machine of reducing stress. ok okay? Thank you Van’s teacher. Thanks for reading to light up life.